For decades black women have been the center of the “Strong Woman” trope, especially in western society. It’s not often that black women are accompanied with being feminine, giving society a weird way to look at how black women go about in society as a whole.
Black women are a lot of things for example; funny, beautiful, creative, daring, and can be a very “soft” group of people when “given” the chance to be. Society pushes black women especially, up against a wall at times when it comes to them expressing their femininity in a provocative way or in some cases any way at all. It can be hard, confusing, daunting, and in some cases dangerous to do so where the black woman is the least protected in modern society. But I challenge the status quo.
What does Femininity look like for a Black Woman?
Femininity for black women comes in all shapes and sizes no different than our complexions, it’s unique to every individual. But for the average black woman, it can resemble a symbol of hope. A green light that doesn’t get pressed as often as it should. It’s the ability to be vulnerable, dressing in ways that compliment our beauty, sometimes taking the backseat instead of always feeling the need to lead and push forward, it’s about putting ourselves first in some of the most intimate ways instead of it always being others while we’re last place.
Letting Strongness Die and Transmutate
A lot of times black women are given compliments based on how strong they are, how much they can endure or take, rather than how delicate they can be or vulnerable they are. By letting this word Strong attach itself to us, almost putting us in a monolithic box, die down, and embracing more kinder words like dainty or graceful, even elegant can change the way a person is viewed or perceived towards themselves and towards others.
Knowing When and Where to Let Our Guards Down
As black women sometimes society will give us the cold shoulder and we give one back. It’s important to know when, where, and to whom we let our soft sides out to and allow others to protect us or keep us safe as other women have and then there’s a time to stand firm and guard our hearts from those of the outside world who are not worthy of our love and submission.
Not every person we come in contact with will have our best interests at heart but it’s important to know when there are people that do and we reciprocate that with honesty and genuinely as possible.
Embracing femininity especially as a black woman can be hard at times in a society where people are a lot harsher than they ever have been before but it is a must for the overall health and wellbeing of the black woman to let go of this need to feel “strong” or stern and relinquish it to feeling softer, doing less, and loving more.
Happy Femininity Black Woman with Love!
Kaymarie 