If you’re woman or especially a black woman, than you probably know the feeling of having to do everything around the house. The cooking, the cleaning, taking care of the pets or the babies and making sure everything is set in your the nurturer in the family. Or maybe if you don’t have that luxury, you have to do all of that and more on your own if you don’t have the support. It can be exhausting and tiring but you feel like even though you need your rest, “ no one else is going to do it if I don’t “ and in some cases that might be true but in others not so much.
A cheat code to life I’m learning or figuring out, is we can’t be everything to everyone and everything and still be what we need for ourselves. Something has to take the backseat sometimes so we can rest. Now that I’m and fur and plant mommy (lol) it’s come to my attention of how much I take care of around me and how sometimes I forget to take care of the most important person, myself. I love nurturing more so now that I’m getting older and I love knowing that it’s going to something or someone I love knowing that it loves me back. But some days I am exhausted and need a quick name or a few hours to myself to regenerate. And I started looking back on past family members or those who I don’t talk to anymore and realized how tired the older they got, they started to look. How as giving as they were, life seemed to wear them down, and what or who they were giving to wasn’t necessarily giving to them back. I didn’t want that for myself.
But most importantly, I didn’t and still don’t, want to become the person that gives to others but forgets to give to themselves. I am just as important and deserving of the love and care that I so graciously pour out into the world as well. And I’ve noticed as of late, how on trend it is for the woman to give and give and give but in return in a lot of cases receive so little. But in the same breath, I’m starting to see woman pour back into themselves, especially black woman, no longer basting the grunt of the world on their shoulders but allowing the world to world without them in it. Not in a malicious way but in a way to allow for rest and more importantly peace. How can I give to what I love if I can’t even give to myself first? That shouldn’t be considered a selfish act, although in some cases it is. It should be a time to reflect and breathe, take in the small moments of life and enjoy the fruits of our labor too. It’s imperative and it’s important that we as woman get back to loving ourselves and know that it’s okay to ask for help when we’re in need and rest, knowing that things will still be there when we’re ready to get back to them.
Now I know that’s now always the case for those that have children, things of course I’m sure still need to be done, but just 5-10 minutes of quiet or an early morning enjoying a fresh cup of coffee or latte before the babies wake up can change a persons mood and perspective tremendously I’m sure. So with that, I say rest. Rest and know that the world will still continue and flourish even on your days off and it’ll be okay. You don’t have to be productive to feel loved and know that you are needed. You can simply just be.
Happy Resting!
Kaymarie 