We’ve all had them at least once. The feeling that we have to question something that should be true. A person, a place, a memory, and idea, are all things that can have us second guessing ourselves.
Especially when trauma strikes, it can be hard to take a chance on people and let them in. Let them get to know who we are as a person. It can be a scary feeling. Which is why healing from past experiences that have affected our trust is so very important. It allows us to regain parts of ourselves that we might have thought we lost, and to allow people to get to know us and what we are about.
The first step into trusting anyone is trusting yourself. I’ve struggled with that for many years including knowing that regardless of the situation or circumstances I have been placed in, I have the capacity to change the outcome or put myself in a better position to succeed and or protect myself at all cost. Knowing you can keep yourself safe is truly the first part of learning to trust in my opinion because if you can’t even trust you, who can you truly trust?
The second step is knowing although you have to capacity to trust everyone that does not mean you should. Not everyone has your best interest at heart and not everyone will do right by you. Not to mention, people make mistakes, we are all flawed and have our own individual shortcomings. All of this should be taken into consideration when deciding if you should trust someone. Learn what makes someone trustworthy to you, is it what they say, how they say things, their character, impulses, boundaries, to decide whether or not this person or people is trustworthy in your eyes especially to give out personal information about yourself.
Lastly, I feel the best way to learn to trust is can that person or people trust you. Would you consider yourself trustworthy or do you have some shortcomings that would prevent a dynamic from being a two way street instead of one? If the roles were reversed could someone put good faith in you and know that you could keep your word or be trusted with personal information too? If you honestly answer these questions and the answer you find is no, then things are definitely things you would want to work on before trying to trust someone else.
Trust is a very tricky thing to obtain, it takes long to learn and it’s easy to destroy. But with time and effort, trust can be acquired through you, someone else, or a group, and have a profound impact on your life. And it’s a great way to build strong connections not only with others but with yourself.
Happy Healing!
Kaymarie 